13 Nov

2 Fast 2 Furious

The Set Up:

For years, Leanna and Andre would scoff at the Fast and the Furious movie trailers, but Ben has been a long time fan (he will admit to only having seen four of them though, owning one). He convinced Leanna and Andre that this series would be perfect for the blog. Andre resisted for a while, but eventually gave in.

We watched the first movie a few weeks ago to feel it out. It was life changing. We sat at the edge of our seats, we laughed, and we cried (if laugh-crying counts). We don’t think anyone could argue that it was a great movie, but damn, it was fun to watch.

We watched the new trailer for Fast 7 and Leanna and Andre were a little worried at how excited they felt while also sad that Paul Walker’s role would be limited (may he rest in peace). Leanna even cheered when Jason Statham made his entrance – another first. Fast and the Furious has already started to change us… for better or for worse.

The Food/Drinks:

We thought a good theme for “2 Fast 2 Furious” would be “2 Tacos 2 Dips” followed by “2 Drinks 2 Desserts.” We did two kinds of everything with a few loose references to “fast” and “furious.” This theme also works wonderfully with the bromance heavily featured in this film. You need two to bro.

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In the first movie, Paul and Vin toasted their friendship with Coronas and barbecue. It’s too cold in Seattle for barbecue, so we just sort of rolled with the Corona and lime motif and went with a Mexican flavor for the night.

We also lied about drinking Corona because they’re awful. We went for Pacifico because it’s a much better beer, and we’d like to imagine that Paul and Tyrese would have approved. Their bromance took what Vin and Paul had to the next level, so it seemed only fitting that we drank new brews for new bros.

Again, we were pretty fast and loose with this Corona and lime thing. Some may say, “2 Fast 2 Loose,” but here at Munch, we do what we want.

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Leanna was on guacamole duty and also mixed up some fresh pico de gallo. The onions made her cry tears of pain and bitterness, not unlike the tears Tyrese wept when he was overtaken by jealousy over Paul and Eva Mendes’ stare and drive. Oh Paul, you tease!

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André “slaved away” (as he put it) over the chipotle lime cilantro slaw for the tacos. Even though he was being a bit dramatic, it was totally worth it, because the slaw took the tacos to the next level. If only it could reach the level of Paul and Tyrese’s bromance. Who are we kidding? Nothing can even come close.

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For the tacos, we picked up some cod from the market, and Ben marinated it in fresh squeezed lime juice, chili pepper, cumin, and other spices. We also bought some portobello mushrooms to sauteé for our second taco variety. The flavors of the cod and the portobello worked wonderfully with the slaw, similar to the harmony experienced watching Tyrese and Paul race cars side by side through the streets of Miami. There is a synergy between them, each of their moves responding to the others’ like some fast-paced, potentially-deadly automobile dance.

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Meanwhile, we had all finished our beers and Ben mixed up drink #2: spicy, you might even say furious, margaritas. He soaked two habanero peppers in Patrón (we don’t mess around with tequila at Munch) just long enough to add a subtle kick to our margs.

We salted the rims of our glasses with actual margarita salt because that’s a thing we do. When you’re drinking Patrón, you don’t just put any kind of salt on the rim.

The finished cocktail was a high-quality, fiery drink almost matching the intensity of Paul and Tyrese’s reunion in the dessert.

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Don’t worry, that’s about as fancy as it got. For dessert, Leanna made some Mexican bromance cookies, which were really just Mexican wedding cookies but we changed the name in honor of Paul and Tyrese.

The powdered sugar coating made them a bit messy, but we’d like to think that our bros would have had a good time playfully mocking each other were they there to eat with us.

Paul: “Bruh, you got powdered sugar all over your shirt.”

Tyrese: *rips shirt off and dusts it off*

Paul: “Now put your blouse back on.”

Tyrese: “Hater.”

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Second dessert was basically a lazy man’s churros, a Leanna invention: thin strips of puff pastry covered in cinnamon and sugar. Laugh all you want, but they were flaky, crispy, doughy, and delicious.

Leanna also melted some bittersweet chocolate, Theo Chipotle Spice Drinking Chocolate, heavy cream, and a few extra dashes of cinnamon. After dipping the churros in that, you kind of forgot that they weren’t actually churros because nothing matters anymore, other than how good that chocolate was and how much it reminded you of the sweet and spicy bromance that Paul and Tyrese share in the film.

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With dinner complete and margaritas in hand, it was showtime.

The Drinks:

Having already watched the first Fast and the Furious movie, we were already prepared with some drinking rules:

  1. If someone opens the hood of the car, drink.
  2. If someone activates NOS, drink.
  3. If a fight breaks out, drink.

The Movie:

We open on a scene populated by a bunch of underground car enthusiasts who are gathering for a street race. We were most impressed not by the selection of cars, but by the fact that they all took the time to meticulously match their outfits to their cars. Christopher Brian Bridges, or Ludacris as he prefers, makes his appearance in a stunning white jumpsuit. Everyone was impressed.

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Luda!

Paul Walker receives a call saying he needs to get to the race, and then BAM the show starts off with a high octane race. Apparently that’s a recurring theme in these movies.

We are a little hazy on exact details, but through some course of events, Paul gets pulled into a cop station for One Last Mission. Paul has to infiltrate the ranks of some bad guy, who only trusts people who are good at racing. Paul says he’ll do it, under one condition…

Cut to a junk yard, where we see Paul’s old friend Tyrese Gibson playing real life bumper cars with some junkers. Tyrese is the kind of guy who doesn’t own a shirt with sleeves, and pronounces “bro” as “bruh.” He also has an ankle monitor on, so we know he has had a bit of trouble with the law, but Paul wants to recruit him anyway.

When Paul and Tyrese first meet each other’s gaze, there is an electric moment between the two. You just know these two have have a history. They get into a bit of a scuffle that ends with the two men breathless in the sand, their legs intertwined. We find out Tyrese was just playing hard to get – he was happy to join Paul’s quest.

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Can you feel the tension?

We also find out that Eva Mendes is an undercover cop. She has some quality lines, like, “I hired some thugs, you know, to make it legit.”

Of course, Paul has to show off to Eva. While he is driving down a residential road with her, he revs it to 80 miles an hour without once breaking eye contact. Understandably, she loves it, because who doesn’t love it when the person driving the car you’re in needlessly puts your life in danger?

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Tyrese pulls up next to them and tells Eva that Paul got “the stare and drive” from him. We can only assume that this meant Paul and Tyrese have stared into each others’ eyes while driving, and enjoyed the experience so much they named it. These two definitely have a history.

Paul plays it cool and throws out his favorite line, “How you like them apples, bro?” We think the writers knew they had something good when they wrote that line, so it’s understandable that they have Paul use it over and over. It gets better each time.

Tyrese and Paul get pulled into a street race to retrieve a package. The main bad guy, Verone, shows up and says he will let the winner work for him. Apparently the cops were right when they said this guy only trusts racers. Also, that’s a pretty shitty prize – the winner gets to work. A lesser man might throw the race, but we are dealing with a god among drivers here.

Naturally, Paul wins, and naturally, it was pretty intense. Then Verone invites Tyrese and Paul to his club and takes them to the worst VIP lounge we’ve ever seen. The couches are ugly, it’s far away from the action, and there isn’t even bottle service. We find out the main bad guy is a fan of cigars, which is neither here nor there.

Soon, the cops start closing in on Verone on their own, but everyone watching the film knows it’s going to come down to Tyrese and Paul to save the day. Spoiler alert: they do.

Near the end of the movie, the audience gets to enjoy a special moment between Walker and Tyrese, as they watch the sunset together and talk about some deeply personal stuff. Walker says something to the effect of, “I guess I’m still riding solo,” and Tyrese cuts him off with, “Yeah, well not anymore.” Audible “awww” from the audience (us). This movie really puts the romance in bromance. We theorized that this movie may even have been the birth of the 21st century bromance movie.

Munch Score:

Where it ranks among The Fast and The Furious franchise, so far:

Andre: This is number 1 in my books. The first one was fun, but Paul Walker and Tyrese Gibson really had a great chemistry in this movie, which made it more satisfying overall.

Leanna: I never thought I would say this, but I missed Vin! There also wasn’t as much NOS.

Ben: I give the film a 77% mainly because I needed to choose a number that had a distinct bromance feel to it, and 77% hits it right on the head. But, as far as its rank in the full franchise? I have confidence that the movies will only get better from here.

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