06 Nov

Sharknado

The Set Up:

A few weeks ago, when Munch was starting to develop, Leanna and André were digging through the $5 movie bin at Walmart (we never go to Walmart) and came across Sharknado (it must have been fate). We agreed, what better way to start a bad movie blog than with Sharknado? The rest is history.

The Food:

We thought a seafood theme would go well with Sharknado, so we trekked to Uwajimaya and loaded up on supplies. We got a large cut of yellowfin tuna to share and a bunch of ingredients for a Japanese meal to go with it. TBH, André and Leanna had no idea what they were doing but Ben was a more than adequate tour guide for the trip.

First up on the menu is Kurigohan (Chestnut Rice), an addition to round out the meal and not because of its ties to a certain Selachii Twister. We put the rice through multiple washes to “clean” the rice and then soaked the rice for about an hour. Both are very important to getting a consistent texture throughout the rice, and it also reduces cooking time.

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After soaking it for a while, we tossed some chopped carrots, grilled chestnuts, seaweed (Kombu), and a little bit of sake into the pot. We stuck it on a burner until it boiled, then cooked it on low for about 15 minutes and took it off a burner for an additional 15 minutes. From there a proper fluffing completes the dish.

We didn’t use a specific recipe, but relied on a few quick Google searches and Ben’s memories of making and eating this dish in Japan.

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Meanwhile, we sliced the tuna into thirds and rolled it onto a plate of sesame seeds. We proceeded to sear the tuna in a hot pan full of sesame oil.

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Finally, we sliced the tuna into thinly and served it along with pickled cucumbers (Kyuri Asa-zuke) and edamame.

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We also had a sesame oil based sauce to dip the tuna in. The sauce is comprised of sesame oil, yuzu juice, salt, and pepper. It added a nice complexity to the flavor of the yellowfin tuna.

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With dinner, we drank two very strong hurricanes, to get us in the right state of mind for a movie featuring sharks flying through the air combatted with chainsaws. We used this recipe.

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Our cat, Tengo, was mildly interested in the fish. And by mildy interested, we mean obsessed.

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He even managed to sneak a bite of the tuna when he thought no one was watching.

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For dessert, we made a chocolate sharknado cake (basically just a roll cake that we renamed so we had an excuse to eat it that night). Note the tornado at the ends and the Reese’s shark fins sticking out of the roll. It’s the little things.

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Finally, we put together some Hurricane Popcorn to eat while we watched the movie. We used soy sauce, kaki mochi, and nori komi furikake in the popcorn and lots of butter because butter is everything.

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The Drinks:

We made up our own drink for the movie with UV Blue, vodka, and Sprite, topped it with Swedish fish, and dubbed it The Great Blue Drank, based off it’s resemblance to The Great Blue Hole off the Belize coast. We may or may not (but we definitely did) have added an extra shot of vodka on top to adequately prepare us for the upcoming ridiculousness. We put a pretty cool time-lapse video of us mixing it up on Instagram if you’re interested.

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Can you even tell the difference?

With drinks in hand and popcorn in our laps, we were ready to watch the movie. After watching the trailer and guessing what might be common themes in the movie, we decided to play the Munch Drinking Game according to these rules:

  1. If someone gets bitten by a shark, drink.
  2. If there is a shark indoors, drink.
  3. If a shark is killed by a chainsaw, drink.

The Movie:

The movie started off on a boat in a choppy ocean with a so-overly-steryotypical-its-racist Japanese business man making a deal with an Ahab-type sailor who hunts sharks instead of whales. Apparently the business man is buying sharks from Ahab.

Out of nowhere, a huge storm starts and the god-awful CGI kicks in. This was breaking-the-supsension-of-disbelief bad, so we had to start drinking early. Seconds later, sharks start flying through the air and landing in the boat. They slurp up the slimy business man like a linguini noodle, and the drinking continues. The camera cuts away and then we never revisit that plot-line again.

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Sluuuuurp.

Next, we are introduced to the main characters: two dudes who just want to surf, a scantily-clad barkeep, and the creepy drunk womanizer who is supposed to be the comic relief. Thankfully, the sleaze ball dies pretty quickly. Lacking a comic character, we believe the director retroactively gives one of the surfer dudes an Australian accent and make him the new jokester.

The sharknado from earlier hits our characters, and LA goes to shit pretty quickly. CGI water starts spraying out of implausable places and one character shouts, “It’s like Old Faithful!” even though it’s nothing like Old Faithful.

About 1/3 into the movie we hit peak shark action, and then there is a surprising lack of sharks in the rest of the movie. After that, the characters become more concerned with the three tornadoes and a few hard-to-buy romances. We won’t spoil the ending, but it involves chainsaws, NOS, and literally blowing a tornado with a striking resemblance to the Eye of Sauron.

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This would actually take quite a bit of core strength to pull off. All of that time spent surfing prepared him for this single moment.

Okay, we will spoil the very ending. We close with a poorly-kerned pun. The three designers who make up Munch cringed pretty hard at this final scene.

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Overall, we enjoyed Sharknado, and we think it accomplished its own goals. This movie was not trying to win an Oscar, it was just trying to entertain its audience, and entertain us it did.

Munch Score:

Andre: 3 shark fins out of 5

Leanna: C+ because when you make a movie called Sharknado, you don’t want people to finish and comment, “Honestly, there could have been more sharks.”

Ben: 35%. At this point, it is good to introduce the Munch Guilt Meter which is a personal scale used to describe just how much guilt you feel the next morning. It ranges from Vampire’s Kiss (the kind of guilt that leaves you with an upset stomach that no amount of sleeping underneath a couch will fix) to Citizen Kane (you awake to angels singing in your bedroom are completely at peace). I would rate Sharknado edging towards Vampire’s Kiss. Great premise, but all in all surprisingly boring.

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